WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
