bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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