Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Sober January is a disaster.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize