As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
