:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
