seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
