I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
