Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
