That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize
