...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
God, I missed his penis.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize