Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize