census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
