..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
