Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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