i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Found the puke drawer
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
