i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
