I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
