i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
