oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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