I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
