Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
