He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize