And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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