So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
