I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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