If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
