Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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