She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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