I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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