i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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