He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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