for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
