Me too!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize