Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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