Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
