is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
