Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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