Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
