When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
