i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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