The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
