That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize