I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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