He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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