singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
