Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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