I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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