i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
