I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
