The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
