Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
