his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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