Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
