I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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