he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
