it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
