mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
