I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
