He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Everclear isn't food dammit
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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