Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
