So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
